A Little Bit About Greener Pastures

So, after about 7 or 8 months of blogging, I have my own domain and hosted blog.  You can find it at http://blindcripple.co.za

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A Little Something About Winning

A few of you might be aware that I like taking photographs.  And if you don’t, why not? Check out a few here.  Anyway, at the beginning to the year, I was up for a new phone upgrade and spent months searching for the right device.  Camera was important, and I settled on one for it’s 8MP camera.  And it’s amazing.  But the fact of the matter is that it’s a phone with a camera.  It’s not a camera with all it’s nifty little tricks and gizmos.  But, as life would have it, I haven’t really been able to afford my Nikon D90 yet, and until I can, I will have to settle for this.

Until now.  I hope.  Fring Mobile and Sony Entertainment Television have paired up and have launched a competition that involves Africa, photography and Fring.  On offer, they have a Sony Cybershot DSC-W300 13.6MP machine.  And it is spectacular.  It has all the bells and whistles one would need from a point and shoot and much more. Plus it looks sexy!

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For those of you that don’t know, Fring is awesome.  It’s a mobile app that let’s you integrate all your chat methods in one.  I use it when i’m away from my Laptop for Skype, Gtalk, Twitter and MSN messenger.  (There are a bunch of other communities too). The great thing about it is that it works really well.  It vibrates and rings (fringtones) like you’d want it too, and one of the coolest features is that I can make Skype calls on it.  Pretty damn great for an all-in-one app.

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The way the competition works is, you take a photograph, with some form of “Africa” in it, incorporate Fring, upload to their Flickr account, by emailing your image to this address, and you’re pretty much good to go.  You’ll need your friends to comment to give you a better chance of winning, but creativity is probably your best bet.  The competition closes on October 31st, so get your entries in, if you’re brave enough for a challenge.  You can find more info on the Fring Blog here.  (And do us all a favour and click the link to see how awesome it is).

The winner will be announced on the really cool Sony Entertainment Television channel on the 1st of November on the show “Around The World For Free”. (That’s channel 113 on DSTV for non-knowers).

I plan to upload as many as I can, and you’ll definitely be hearing about them so you can go and help me win – AND you know you want to :)

Obviously, there are terms to this competition, so click here for those.

A Little Bit About Religion

Religion is a funny one. People are always arguing about it, and they probably always will. I consider myself to be fairly religious, but we all view other people using our own judgements, when are just being hypocritical. For example, I’m Jewish, and do not eat pork, so I judge the Jews that do. Yet, I do eat cheese burgers when I shouldn’t.

As a Jewish person, you’re most likely in shul on Yom Kippur, which is considered to the be the day that you pray. The holiest of days. You are to fast for about 25 hours, with no food or drink, and spend most of it in shul, atoning for your sins – It’s in these 8 days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur where G-d decides who lives, and who dies. I always end up thinking a lot during this day. I reflect upon a lot. It’s a good time for thinking too, but the only problem is, I can’t pull out my phone, or a piece of paper, and start making notes like I’d normally like to do. But this is also positive, it’s a time to let everything go and concentrate on the religious aspects that we so often forget about.

I love religion and faith, and I repeatedly tell myself to try be more religious, to go to shul more, to keep learning, but life doesn’t get simpler, and I’m always getting busier and busier. But again today, as I’ve done every year, I try tell myself to go more, to be more active – After all, it is my heritage.

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The Rabbi gave a little talk before he started the service yesterday evening about letting fear go before it takes over. It always seems so easy when it comes from the über faithful. I hope to just try a little bit more this year.

Religion affects people differently, and some people just don’t get it. Also, I will not try push my religion onto you, so I would appreciate it if you did the same for me. There is no right or wrong answer. I have my belief that my religion is what it is, and I am happy with that. There is no point arguing about it. My point is to have faith, to keep it close. It’s not whether it’s really there or not, we have no way to prove it, but it’s the belief that something is, and it’s that belief that sometimes helps us with issues that we come across.

This year was the first year I wasn’t in shul for two days on Rosh Hashana. The fact that I was best-man at a wedding was kind of a big thing for me. So all I got was first day morning service, and it was a bit disappointing. But listening to the Shofar blowing at the end of this years Yom Kippur was pretty amazing. It’s kind of hard to explain, but the way you feel at that point is weightless, with no worries. The fact that I hadn’t eaten or drank anything for 25 hours meant nothing. The Rabbi’s talk at the beginning of Yom Kippur must have hit a spot. All worries and fear dissipated. It’s a feeling you can only get here…

I spent this Yom Kippur in Hermanus again, in a small community, which makes the whole family feeling more apparent. That is exactly what Judaism is so often about. For me, religion means a lot. It signifies my heritage and my person. It brings our family together, and just holds that little bit more. It’s not a religion you can explain with ease, nor is it the most simple, but it makes me, and others, happy. You don’t need to force it to have faith, but just that little bit might make a difference…

Shana Tova, I hope the fast was good, and I expect that the following year brings only hope and happiness.

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A Little Bit About Being A Girl

I’ve been asked to write this post by far too many people, but I thought I should entertain them anyway.  I’m not really a girl.  Not the way Caster Semenya is.  No, I’m fully male, and I have the bits to prove it.  And they were there when I was born too.  I even went the full route – when I was 8 days old the Rabbi did his part, rubbed a bit of wine on my gums, and proceeded to snip the schmuck.  Not as though I a choice in the matter, but I’m not complaining now.

I was teased in late primary school of being gay.  It stemmed from a stupid joke that got out of hand.  It was somewhat tough to deal with, but I wouldn’t put it down to a life changing incident that has turned me into a serial killer.  That was caused by something completely different.  But I digress…  I love women, and no, I’m not a womaniser.  My friends will confirm that if you have your doubt, but it’s true.  I have a huge amount of respect for women, after all, it’s women that do that thing I like so much.  But, I’m not ashamed to admit, that I am a bit of a girl.

So here I have compiled a list of reasons why I am a girl.  Some of you will already know these, and some of you may be shocked and never look at me the same again:

  • I’m overly sensitive.  I tend to let things affect me way too much.  I over-think them and let them stress me out.  I should care less – Like a boy.
  • I like hair.  Obviously, not my own.  But I notice when someone has done something differently.  Like other girls.
  • I can sleep in a bed with a person of the opposite sex (or the same depending on which way you look at it), and not do anything I shouldn’t. (Even though I might be thinking it).
  • I have 3 different types of face wash, each for a different task.  I only use one type of shampoo and soap.  I use moisturiser and well as concealer.
  • I own more than 5 pairs of shoes.  And I’m picky about the ones I wear.
  • I have a box of sentimental things that I’ve collected over the years.  I will always have it and I will never ever get rid of it’s contents.
  • I’ve been known to gossip.
  • My music tastes could be considered female.
  • Like a lot of guys, I’ve dressed up in drag, but I went the whole 9 yards.  Stockings, make up, wig, etc.  Check out the pic. Scary stuff.
  • Apparently, I squeal.  I have no proof of this, and simply play the “hearsay” card.
  • I take longer than some real girls to get ready.  It’s a process, you know.
  • I probably take longer than most females to do my hair.  Do you think it looks like this when I wake up?!
  • I’m very comfortable with matters of the heart, whether it’s my heart or someone else’s.  I’m able to talk, or write, it out so that someone ends up feeling better.  And in connection with that, I’m a good listener. The kind that will give good advice.  The girl kind.

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Now, while you might be thinking I’m truly female, I’ve countered the list with reasons about why I’m a boy.  And a good one at that.

  • I play a large amount of sports.  And while this can be said about some women, I watch it too.  And I am able to understand all of them.  I can explain the offside rule in both rugby and football.  I am also an official cricket umpire, so I know how LBW works.
  • As I’ve said before, I love women, and while I’ve already proven I’m really a boy, therefore, I can not be a lesbian.
  • I smell good. Man-good.  Try me.
  • I wear all my pairs of shoes.  Until they can’t be worn any more.
  • I love my hands, and you will too.
  • I know what torque is, and no, it’s not something you do at book club.  I also know what under- and over-steer are.
  • I read books that involve blood and murder and sex, and not those that are centred around a lady looking for her husband that left her for a tranny.  (Although, that would make for entertaining reading, but you get my point).
  • I own a BB gun.
  • I like my boy bits.
  • I’m childish.  I play games all the time.  People get annoyed with me because of it, but boys never grow up.
  • I drive fast just because I can.
  • I love bugs.  As long as they don’t fly, and they should have 8 legs.
  • I can go out after just waking up and not worry about make-up.
  • I can have a phone conversation in 30 seconds, and have the topic resolved in that time.
  • I know where North is, and I can direct someone there, when necessary.  I can read a map book.

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I think I’ve gone on enough, but you see my point.  Even though I might have all the girl aspects, I have the boy parts there to even-out everything quite nicely.  I’m pretty sure you all have your own opposite sex insides, so just embrace them.   Besides, this balance I have is me, and I’m quite happy with me.

A Little Something About Cheating

This post doesn’t require any pretty pictures, or fancy formatting.  It doesn’t need your judgement.  In fact, you may not be able to understand the reason behind my actions, but I know, and that is all I need.

I hope that you have never been cheated on.  I also hope that you have never cheated on anyone.  Let’s face it though, even good people cheat.  When I was 19, I cheated on my then long-term girlfriend.  It was a young-love long-distance relationship and I was drunk, young and after tail.  The issues that ensued were ridiculous, and ultimately were a big part of our relationship ending, be it 6 months later.  But the moral of the story, for me anyway, was that I needed to at that stage, to protect all future girlfriends.  I never cheated on my ex.  Granted, our first year together was a stupid let’s-see-who-can-hurt-the-other-more scenario, but it was never cheating.

I feel very sorry for those guys that always cheat on their girl, and I don’t really understand it.  If you are in a relationship where you’d rather be with someone else, then end it.  If you don’t have the balls to end it, then suck it up and be miserable, but don’t keep cheating on your partner because the opportunity presents itself and you’re too immature to be an adult about it.  It makes me angry when people of a sufficient age cheat.  And it’s made even worse by those same idiots that constantly do it, whether it’s with the same person, who’s also too weak to run, or if it’s with a different girl each time.  Learn from your mistakes.  People do change.  They grow.  They mature.  They become who they should be.

I don’t want to, so I won’t, but I’m not going to explain my reasons to what happened today.  To why I put myself in that position in the first place.  Each relationship is different and should be treated as such, and I treated mine, and my break up, the way i thought it should be.  I took my time, and never forced anything, and this has worked really well for me.  I have been happy.  I didn’t care how long it took.  So, I might expect you to judge me for still staying in contact, but we all have our reasons, and when mine becomes clear, maybe I’ll share them with you.  But yes, we still talk every now and then, and that’s okay with me.

We were also talking Monday night when she was upset about something, but assured me things were fine.  I know her well.  Things were not fine.  On Tuesday, she was online again and she eventually asked if she thought it was okay that we spoke about their relationship.  She still wanted that from me.  She promised me that she wouldn’t lean on me when things were bad, but things were obviously really bad.  I told her that I didn’t think it was okay, but that we should still talk. This was a huge mistake.  Thankfully she argued with me for a while about telling me.  I told her it would be okay, even though it would never have been.  She didn’t and that was that.

Then came today.  Wednesday.  She asked me if I had told anyone about us being together at the beginning of the year.  About our moment of weakness and vulnerability.  Don’t roll your eyes, it happens all the time.  It’s part of the whole cycle, and I also saw it as closure.  Or whatever.  Anyway, I hadn’t mentioned it and she asked that I didn’t.  Fine.  “Because he can’t find out.  Even though we weren’t ‘offical’, he would view it as cheating”.  Hmmmm.  Interesting.  Details aside, but at that instant, he found out about it. She said she had to go away for something and I didn’t hear from her in a while.  She had left me hanging in the middle of our conversation.  I had no clue what was happening.  I was a little confused and just needed answers now.  But eventually she called.  Very upset.  She and him had ended it.  I was in my happy place lately, and not even having to deal with this was going to change that.  So I spoke to her.  I reasoned and did my best to tell her she was okay.  She really wasn’t, though.  We spoke about us for a little bit.  There were a lot of silences.  And then, in a quiet whisper, she told me that she had cheated on me.

There are few things worse than cheating on a long term partner.  Lying is pretty high up there.  I never asked her, while we were going out, if she had ever cheated on me, because I trusted her.  When we broke up, all insecurities forced me to ask her, and she told me no.  That was the same answer she gave me every time asked, and I asked a few times.  “No”.  It must have been burning inside.  For the last four or five months of our relationship, she lied to me.  It was while she was in England.  With someone I trusted as far as I could throw.  I’ve said it before, and will probably say it a few times again, but trust your instincts.  That little feeling inside.  It knows things.

She was not in a good place today, but I suppose I shouldn’t be caring.  But I do.  Not for anything that I’m holding onto, because that phase has gone, but for the person.  For her.  I think when things have calmed down a little bit, I might release some of the anger that must be building inside.  I have been calm and collected.  I have been distracted. But alone time is a broken soul’s enemy.  Leave your brain to think, and it will.  It’ll think about them together.   About her coming back and being with you, telling you she loves you.  And maybe even about how your breakup makes a little more sense to you.

She always valued lying as the worst thing you could ever do.  I wonder if she knows what she’s done.  I know she’s upset, but I wish she would just know.  I’m not angry yet, and only sometimes am I upset.  I’m sure once this light goes off, and my head touches the pillow, I’ll be a different person.  But right now, I’m still just okay.  I know, though, that it won’t last, and with that, I’m still okay.

Now, it’s going to get a little soppy, so if you’re sensitive to that type of behavior, you may want to look away.

Don’t cheat on your partner.  No matter how far into a relationship you are.  But people make mistakes, we’re only human.  Just don’t you dare fucking lie about it.  Be honest and open with the person you supposedly love, because it’s not just you in it, there is another fragile person too.

A Little Bit About New Developments

So, as you know, I haven’t really been very good at posting of late.  I have been really busy with work and trying to be more social, and, to tell the truth, there are new developments in the pipeline.  New exciting developments.  Well, they are for me, anyway.  And, I’m hoping these new changes will force me to blog more.  In fact, I know some of these changes will have me blogging more.

As soon as I have all my ducks in a row, you’ll all know.  Until then, however, please don’t lose interest – This won’t take too long.

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P.S. I know the image is lame and corny, but I just had to…


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